Halloween party

So our apartment complex had a big Halloween Party.  My roommates Emily and Kelsi and I went to it.  It was fun and lots of dancing.  I have to admit... we were pretty cute.

The party was fun... but I think half the fun was getting ready.  I love Halloween!

Perfection...?

As a college student it is so easy to feel like we have to be perfect at everything.  It is a very competitive world out there and it is so easy to compare ourselves to others.  There are a lot of people who seem to be perfect.  It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when we fall short.  We all seem to notice our weaknesses more than anyone else and we it’s easy to focus on them.

On sunday we had a lesson that really has helped me in Relief society.  I don't know if you happened to read Elder Utchdorf's talk from the Relief society general broadcast but it wasto put all of that into perspective.  It was on a talk given by Elder Utchdorf from the relief society general meeting.   His talk was so amazing, well most of theirs are amazing but his particularly stuck out to me.  I won't make you read the entire thing (though it is pretty amazing) but there is one section that i love the most.  He said:

First, forget not to be patient with yourself.

God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.

Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.

And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

It’s wonderful that you have strengths.

And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses.

God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths, but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.

Dear sisters, many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself.

In the meantime, be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss some of life’s sweetest experiences.

For example, insisting that you have a picture-perfect family home evening each week—even though doing so makes you and everyone around you miserable—may not be the best choice. Instead, ask yourself, “What could we do as a family that would be enjoyable and spiritual and bring us closer together?” That family home evening—though it may be modest in scope and execution—may have far more positive long-term results.

Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.”

So I don't know if that can help you at all but it really helps me.  While I was on my mission I was having a hard time with this.  Not because I thought I had to be perfect but I did feel like I wasn't doing quiet enough to be able to help more people, even though I was doing everything I could think of at the time.  It’s really easy to get down on yourself about stuff like that especially if you aren't seeing the results that you want.  So during one of my interviews with my mission president I explained the way that I felt to him.  He told me that that feeling is normal for everyone.  Then I thought he was going to share with me some things that I could work on to start out.  He pulled out his scriptures and said "What do you think about Nephi?  Was he a great missionary, and follower of Christ?" I agreed wholeheartedly.   Then he shared a scripture with me that has stuck with me to this day.  He read 2 Nephi 4:17-18 to me it says:

"Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me."

Even though Nephi was probably one of the most amazing people in the history of mankind he thought of himself as "wretched".  I had read that scripture many times before but it never hit me so had the meaning behind that then it did just then.  But what got me the most is what he said after that until the end of the chapter as he explained what he does to compensate for that.  I'll let you read that part on your own but I just loved it so much.  Since that day I have tried to find ways that I can make the end of that chapter my life goal and theme.  Whenever I'm hard on myself I try to remember that chapter and realize that I'm not perfect but someone that is can be my teacher and help me every step of the way.

I know that I am not perfect and I have many weaknesses.  However, like it says in Ether 12:27

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

The lord is aware of us, our needs, strengths and weaknesses.  If we are humble and have faith in his he can help lift us up and become stronger.  We don’t have to be perfect. There is only one that is perfect and he just expects us to follow him and lean on him so that his perfection can compensate for our faults and weaknesses.

Broken!

       A week after I got home from my mission I made a small mistake (at least I thought it was small at the time). I tripped going down the stairs.  My foot hurt but I didn’t think it was badly injured, maybe sprained.  I thought I could take care of it myself and I didn’t need anyone’s help to fix it.  I thought since it didn’t hurt too badly I should try and walk on it (they say if you can put pressure on it then it’s not broken).  SO I tried this and it hurt but I could put pressure on it and I could avoid screaming.  The day went on and the pain intensified and my foot started to swell.  That night I couldn’t rest, the pain from my foot was too intense that I couldn’t get any peace.  The next day I gave in, the pain was strong for me to handle on my own, I needed help.  The doctor told me that it was broken and that it was worse than I had thought it was.  He said that my foot was not only broken it had twisted and parts were splintered off.   The doctor told me that in order to fix my foot he would have to do surgery on it.  However, because I waited it had actually gotten to swollen for him to fix it that day. So I would have to wait and even though it was embarrassing and painful I waited with my foot up for what felt like forever, it was only a week.   He even gave me some things I could do to help with the pain and some medication I could take.  Then I went in for surgery and the doctor fixed up my foot.  He had done everything he could do now it was up to me to heal.  He gave me some exercises and again some medication to help dull the pain and with that help I would be able to heal properly.

                Similar to what happened to my foot there are many times in our life when we make mistakes.  Sometimes we might think it’s not that big of a deal and that we can handle it ourselves.  We think we are strong enough to fix all of the problems on our own.  However, like my foot many times there are deeper wounds that we can’t even see from the surface from our supposedly small mistake.  We can’t see them on our own we need someone who has the power and training to help us see them and to help us fix them.  That is when we need to go talk to our bishop, our ward family doctor.   They are there to help us heal properly and see any damage that we might not be able to see for ourselves.  If you put off talking to him or think that you can do it yourself you might make the mistake more difficult to fix and in some cases (like in the case of my foot) you might make the damage worse.  Occasionally when the circumstances require we might need to wait, like I did with my foot for the swelling to go down, or in spiritual matters we might need to abstain from partaking of the sacrament.  Though this might be painful or embarrassing he is not doing it to punish you. He only does this so that the day when you do get to go and partake of the sacrament again you can do so and have your spirit be completely ready for to be fully healed.  It is all part of the complete healing process.

                Repentance isn’t easy and sometimes it’s a little painful but the Lord is there every step of the way helping you dull the pain.  The bishop might have you read some scriptures or do some specific things that will help you invite the spirit help your healing process.  The Lord works through the bishop, he has taught him everything that he knows and through this process we can be healed of all of our so called little mistakes.

                Now my scar is getting smaller but it will forever be there as a constant reminder of that small mistake I made.  Sometimes we might have a small reminder of the mistakes that we have made; we might remember what we have done.  This isn’t done to torture us and make us think that we really haven’t healed all the way.  We only have these small reminders there to remind us not of our mistake but of our healing.  My scar will always remind me not to make that same mistake again but not only that, my scar will always remind me of who I had to rely on in order to heal properly.  I know I couldn’t have healed on my own and I will always remember who I can turn to for help.  I alone might have made a mistake but I am never alone when it comes to fixing it.

I am not ashamed!!!

“There are times when I feel so unsure if the words I speak will be the cure.  What if my voice could change a heart?  Lord, teach me where to start.  While on my knees I’m pleading so that I can show that I am not ashamed, to stand and say what I believe. I know that he’s my savior.  He’s my strength and every need.  There is one name under heaven. Christ, he is my king.  For him I’ll give my life.  I am not ashamed.”

 Romans 1:16 “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ”.  The gospel is nothing to be ashamed of but something to be proud of.   As Gordon B. Hinckley explained in a talk he once gave called "A Perfect Brightness of Hope" he said "We rejoice with you in the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are many blessings in store for you. We know at times it can be terribly lonely. It can be disappointing. It can be frightening. We of this Church are far more different from the world than we are prone to think we are. But the gospel is nothing to be ashamed of. It is something to be proud of. “Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord,” wrote Paul to Timothy (2 Timothy 1:8)."

 In the bible it talks about how the church is like a body (1 Cor 12:11-27: you should read it).  Every member of the body is important and plays an important part to the function of the body as a whole.  There are times when we might think that we are small and we don’t matter much.  Sometimes we think that it wouldn’t make a difference if we weren’t there because we think ‘what kind of contribution can I make?  I’m no one important.”  However, every part of our body is important.  Even if we were missing our little baby toes, our balance would be off and we would have to learn how to walk all over again; because they play a vital role in the function of the rest of our body.  When we look at the body as a whole we often overlook the importance of such a small feature but it is needed nonetheless.

 Our comments and contributions are important.  The spirit works in mysterious ways and he might impress you to say something that another person has been wondering.     You might have the answer to someone else’s prayer.  Of course it is not going to be easy and you are going to be a little frightened or intimidated at first, but who do you think is putting those fears inside your head?  Whenever there is an opportunity to grow spiritually there is always going to be opposition, because there is someone who doesn’t want us to be happy or help each other.  So he will put doubts in your head; doubts about whether or not your comment is worth sharing.  The only way to get over this fear is to open your mouth and just share what you have inside and the spirit will direct you with what to say. 

The more you turn away from, or deny the spirit the more difficult it is to recognize when he is calling you.  If you keep letting fear stop you from saying what the spirit has put into your mind, he is not going to be able to trust you as much with more revelation because he knows that you aren’t going to share it.  If will be more difficult for you to be in instrument in his hands when you are afraid of doing the work.  However, if you try to overcome your fear and allow him to work through you; he will give you strength.  He can make you strong enough to face your fears and help lift others who have fallen.  It is then that he can raise you to a higher level, closer to him.

The church of Jesus Christ isn’t a place where everyone goes just so that they can individually progress and leave everyone else in the dust.  It is a place where we can lift and strengthen others along our path.  Everything in the organization of the church is set up so that each person can help others, not so that they can help themselves.  The prophet isn’t called so that he can receive personal revelation that for him to keep to himself so that he is the only one that is saved.  No, he is called to teach and testify to the world of how they can be saved.  He receives revelation to prepare the world for what is coming.  The priesthood, as well, isn’t made or given to men so that they can bless themselves.  In fact, priesthood holders have to ask other priesthood holders to give them a blessing.  The priesthood is always given so that men can better serve others and lift their fellow men.  Every calling there is in the church is only an opportunity to serve others.  It is when we magnify these callings that the Lord can make us stronger.  Like Christ said in Moses 1:39 “For behold, this is my work and my glory; to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”  Due to the fact that Christ wants to bring to pass the eternal life of ALL mankind he will bless us when we help him in reaching his goal.  We do that by letting the spirit work through us and sharing the thoughts that he has put in our hearts.  It is then that true happiness can be felt.

There are many who are out there that need our help with coming back to the church.  In Alma 31:34-35 Alma makes a supplication to God for his strength and help with being able to bring their souls back to him.  We must do the same and ask for God’s help to receive the revelation needed to help our brothers. We must ask for his strength to overcome our fears and be able to declare those things to our brethren.  We might be the difference in their decision to come back to the church.  You can help them feel welcome and wanted.  All you have to do is allow God to work through you.

I am so grateful for this gospel in my life.  I know that when we serve others we serve our God and help his cause.  It is a personal goal of mine to not allow my fear stand in the way of me sharing testimony of him at all times and speak the words that are in my heart.  My Lord and Savior have done everything for me.  The least I can do is live for them!  In his name, I share these things, even Jesus Christ. Amen

Psychology Experiment

I just want to say thank you to those 14 people who were brave enough to help me with my experiment. I am happy to say that your suffering was not in vain.  My actual presentation was today and thanks to all of you I am happy to say that I got 100% on it.  My teacher said that it was very entertaining and he really enjoyed the video clips.  I couldn’t have done any of this without you.  I owe you all so much… especially something that tastes good. haha Sadly I am not able to upload the pictures or video onto this blog right now but maybe one day I will be able to do so.

Love with all your heart and make sure they know it.

President Thomas S. Monson once said “I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. And what is important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know.  Wrote William Shakespeare: “They do not love that do not show their love”.  Despite the changes which come into our lives, may we fill our days, as much as we can, with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed. Send that note to a note to a friend in need, give your child a hug, give your parents a hug; say I love you more, always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important that a person to be loved.”

There are so many times when we take for granted that which surrounds us, especially our family.  It is so easy to focus on the things that those people aren’t doing rather than the little things that they actually do accomplish.  We tend to hone in on the negative that we forget about all of the little mundane things that happen every day.  We also tend to assume that our loved ones know that we love them but we don’t do anything special to prove it to them.  Perhaps they do know that we love them but if we are always showing our love and especially saying it then there can be no room for doubt.  Also when we say it the more we think about it and mean it.  This causes our relationships to become stronger and our homes more able to invite the spirit.  In the hymn ‘Love at home’ it states “there is beauty all around when there’s love at home.”  The world becomes a brighter place, foods become more rich, your health tends to improve and quality of life goes up immensely when you love and know you are loved in return.

When you’re lying on your death bed you are never thinking ‘I should have invested more, I should have worked longer hours.  I should have bought nicer things.’  Normally your last thoughts go directly to those that you love and your quality of life and relationships you had with others.  You don’t ever want your last thoughts to be ‘did I love enough?’

In a talk by Elder Costa addresses this regret when he shared a poem posted by the husband of one of the flight attendants who was in one of the worst plane crashes in Brazil.  In this plane crash they say: ”There were 199 people killed, including passengers, airline workers, crew members, and others who were at the site when the accident happened.” This poem is entitled “Tomorrow Never Comes”, which is based off of a poem by Norma Cornett Marek.

If I knew this would be the last time I would watch you sleep,

I would hug you tighter. I would plead with the Lord to protect you.

If I knew this would be the last time I saw you walk out the door,

I would hug and kiss you and call you back to hug and kiss you one more time.

If I knew this would be the last time I would hear your voice in prayer,

I would record every gesture, every look, every smile, every one of your words,

So that I could listen to it later, day after day.

If I knew this would be the last time,

I would spend an extra minute or two to tell you, “I love you,” instead of assuming you already knew it.

If I knew this would be our last time, our last moment,

I would be by your side, spending the day with you instead of thinking,

“Well, I’m sure other opportunities will come, so I can let this day go by.”

Of course there will be a day to revise things,

And we would have a second chance to do things right.

Oh, of course there will be another day for us to say, “I love you.”

And certainly there will be another chance to tell each other, “Can I help with anything?”

But in my case, there isn’t one!

I don’t have you here with me, and today is the last day we have—our farewell.

Therefore I would like to say how much I love you,

And I hope you never forget it.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old.

Today might be your last chance to hold tight to the hand of the one you love and show all you feel.

If you are waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

Because if tomorrow never comes, you certainly will regret for the rest of your life

Not having spent some extra time for a smile, a conversation, a hug, a kiss,

Because you were too busy to give that person what ended up being their last wish.

Then hug tight today the one you love, your friends, your family, and whisper in their ears how much you love them and want them close to you.

Use your time to say,

“I’m sorry,”

“Please,”

“Forgive me,”

“Thank you,”

Or even,

“That was nothing,”

“It’s all right,”

Because if tomorrow never comes, you will not have to regret today.

The past doesn’t come back, and the future might not come! “

Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today.  Don’t ever assume that someone you love knows you love them but tell them.  Make sure you live everyday as if you were going to die tomorrow, letting everyone around you know how much they truly mean to you.  Then when that tragic day comes you will not have that regret of ‘did I love enough?’ but you will have a sense of peace knowing that you gave you’re whole heart, nothing wavering and there was no doubt about your love to others.  This will not only cause you to have a peaceful after life but a magnificent life here on earth as well because you will be surrounded by love.  And we all know the power of LOVE!

"All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Out of the best books!

So I know that this is my first post and I believe what you really all want to hear from me is a little bit about myself... Sadly you won't be getting that information in this post.  However, I will let you inside my head a little bit.  I really love literature. I love how things are written and how the words on a page form something that is awe inspiring.  I am astonished at how great authors can not only pull us into great literature but they can really make you feel something powerful. From every word that you read you feel empowered.

I have come to the conclusion that there are not only great writers but great speakers who are smart enough to put their words in writing.   There is an intangible immortalized power that is given from God to authors.  It is put into their minds and released into their fingers so that they might be able to share the deepest thoughts of his heart.  Once the words are down on paper they carry an immense enlightening capability to your consciousness.  As each word is read it enters into your mind and can flourish in your soul; empowering you with a divine spark that envelops the soul and enlightens the world. As each book opens, it opens a new world to your view and imagination.  As we internalize the words given to us I can’t help but feel for a brief second the veil part and God smiling down on me.  It is as if I have finally come across this great gift he had ready for me and had just been waiting for me to find it and open it.  As I reread passages and apply them to myself I continue to feel his love as if I had just found the secret hidden message specifically written for me.  I now have no doubt of the need for the scripture in Doctrine and covenants 88:118 which says “And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”  God has immortalized his words specifically for you in Books which he has inspired for your learning and growth.

Many times we get too caught up in the world and everything that is going on around us that we don't realize what we have right in front of us.  Even though many people don't find reading very entertaining and even though it is a little slower by reading we are better able to truly understand something and apply it for in our lives. To me you don't get the same affect or feeling from listening to a book on tape or watching a movie as you do from reading a book, which is why I find it so important for us to read and read often; especially the Book of Mormon.  Although it may be a little difficult to understand at first with time as we become more familiar with the way that it is written we will be able to understand it more clearly and apply it to our lives more thoroughly.  By doing this we will be able to draw closer to the Lord and receive his strength to overcome anything that is thrown in our path.

So as you probably can guess, throughout this blog I am not only going to be talking about myself but I will be talking about scriptures, and quotes that have impacted me and why.  I hope that one day or somehow this might be able to help someone somewhere.